There are many reason as to why I blog... and one of them is to share what I go through daily to you. Tonight, I'm hoping what I share releases some of my anxieties. So, it's now 11Pm, I can't sleep, Chloe's sleeping next to me, Jeff's working and my mind is racing with many thoughts.
Since having Chloe things have been so overwhelming for me. The jump from once child to two has taken a toll on me mentally. I can't seem to get everything done like I used to. And, having a fussy baby and a cranky toddler doesn't make things better. If you know me at all, you know how psycho I am about cleaning, vacuuming, organizing. I believe - A tidy home, is a happy home. That's my motto. And, for my little ol' mind, I can't go to bed when things are out of place. Yes, you could say I need to live a little and let things go... But, this is how I am wired! I've tried to change in college and no such luck, ask my roommates. They might have hated me, but there was always a clean dorm/apartment to come home to! (Plus, this is how I provide for my family!)
Jeff and I never knew how easy Cambelle was as a baby till we had Chloe. Cambelle would sleep anywhere, one toy was good enough for her, and she hardly cried. Chloe on the other hand is the complete opposite. Chloe doesn't have a "position" to be put in to be comforted, hates to be bored, and has to be held all the time. I'm thinking at 4 months, all this should be getting easier - juggling two kids - but no, it's hard for me.
My plate is full:
Laundry
cooking
organizing
packing
cleaning
playing
entertaining
vacuuming
snacks
nursing
diaper changing
disciplining
reading
laundry - did I mention that already?
and all the other "mom stuff" - I'm pooped! I know there are a lot of mom's who are better at this then I am, but I have to express my thoughts... does anyone feel the same way? I feel like if I fall apart, the house will fall apart... I guess that' the job as Super Mom!
Don't get me wrong, Jeff is incredible. He's always there for my crying session... ready to help out and always has a solution. I don't know where I'd be without him. I do find my strength through God and without Him, I'd be lost.
I love my life! I love that I'm able to stay home with the girls! And, Jeff is the best provider. All, I'm saying is that I've had a bad day, and I pray tomorrow will be better. Well, it has to be. Right?
Kathryn's 4th Birthday Party
6 years ago
Girl, I feel your pain. I too can be a clean freak w/the house. I probably vacuum 3x/week....mostly because of the stinkin' dog hair - quite annoying on hardwood. I remmeber when our house in TX was on the market and I vacuumed everyday sometimes more if someone was coming to look. You know it was bad when Andrew would start crying "No Mommy" when I brought the vacuum out.
ReplyDeleteI love storage bins for the kids toys. I used to be psycho mom about making sure things were cleaned up and put in the CORRECT bins right after they were done playing w/them. I've lightened up somewhat and surprisingly the kids are pretty good about putting things away properly. I just don't get on their case as much and if the basement is trashed for the day, we'll get it cleaned up tomorrow.
Hang in there! It's only for a season - that's what I tell myself and we can't ever take this time back when their little. You're doing a fantastic job - I can tell by those gorgeous smiles on your girls' faces. If you ever need a place to hang and play, our door is always open. Would love to get to know you guys better. Talk w/you later. Stephanie
Danielle I hear you! I feel that way some days and I still only have Reid....I love things organized and clean and I can't seem to get it all together all the time, especially when trying to sell the house and things have to be spotless at all times, then we have to run out of the house before people come through! Being pregnant with a 15 month old just really drains me as you know. And I have to enjoy the less crazy time now because come July baby # 2 comes and I'm in the same position as you! I will be praying for you because I feel what your feeling only 6 months behind! :) Two kids 18 months apart.....we are brave!!
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